So I just received an email from my mom, a real estate agent, about the house I grew up in. Click HERE for a link to the listing so you can get the context of the reply I sent her.I also tried to make it a pdf so you could view it on the blog but it didn’t work, but here it is anyway. my-old-house.pdf

This is what I wrote back…

Ewww…

OMG that is disgusting. My chest hurts from the dry heaving induced upon seeing that disaster. The front yard looks normal except the grass is dead, but that’s the wid-west for ya.

WHAT! did they do to the kitchen? Did they shop at the bargain basement outlet of marble and the only selection was feces brown. It gives the impression that a roman had diarrhea all over the counters. Well at least the “back splash” protected the walls. And what’s with that olive/bone-white contrast in the addition? I couldn’t even look at the pink-on-pink candy stripped room.

Did they install that fireplace in the upstairs of the addition (master bedroom) and what’s with those black curtains not to mention the ones in the dining room (all the window treatments and furniture skirts are in desperate need of some combustible fuel and a match)? I didn’t see a picture of my old room WTF? IMHO That was the best room in the house. But I will say the basement looks much better, they must have worked out that little flooding issue.

In any case I hope the residents are to blame for the schizophrenic decorating (especially the color schemes) and not some actual decorating business.

Well now that I think about it… if it were a company, they did an excellent job convincing the owners to part with their $ for all that crap. In reality, the only excuse is that a blind family has moved in and thankfully their seeing-eye-dogs are color blind.

And the fact they decided to sell just when the market is cooling down. It should be interesting to see how long it languishes on the market and how low they will have to drop the price. Maybe they should be reimbursed by their interior “decorator”. But with a Jr. High School of Nipher’s caliber someone will probably snap it up just to get in the kirkwood school district.

I like the end of the description “this is a special home”. What does that even mean?

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